31 August 2011

CCIWNS is grateful to Lanette, a CCI-USA co-counselor who attends for the third time a CCI Europe workshop. We are not only pleased by her sharing her experiences but also for the wonderful photo's she send us to make a choice! Thanks for your contribution Lanette! Niek

The theme of CCI Hungary 2011 was Inclusion/Exclusion and it was a co-created event. After all, we co-counselors know what a CCI is supposed to look like, sound like, be like; the big papers taped on the wall served as the schedule and they were filled in as we went through the week - actually just like any other CCI. Culture setting was done as a 15 minute skit by Joke of the Netherlands & Janice of Israel. Aside from its very humorous slant, the skit illustrated Client In Charge using very particular dialogue, asking specifically for what you want.

pre historic people

Ágota of Hungary continued with an introductory circle relating prehistoric people's needs with the development of language. Using the Hungarian language as an example she demonstrated how the root sound / TR/ can be expanded into wide spheres of meaning. Just to give a gist the relationship between words: TéR=space, TeRel= herd in a space, TeRem= bears fruit, TeRemt= create, TeRemtés= creation, TeRemtő=Creator, TáR= open, TáR=...room eg. bookroom=library,storeroom, TáRol= to store, etc. so basically language grows from the land; it holds the geographical space. Ágota mentioned that co-counseling provides growing awareness of how to self-organize; she believes the world, in general, is going in this direction. The sun can be excluded, but it excludes nothing. Language attempts to create expressionary sounds to describe our feelings. And, language grows from the land; it holds the geographical space. In order to bear fruit you have to create space. Gardeners are creators. We create space when we open; open heart, open mind. Ágota played a captivating Hungarian song and the group used free movement/dance around the room The song says,"Nem úgy van már, mint volt régen." "Now is not as it used to be in the past - an old Hungarian folk song from transylvania, played by Muzsikás and sung by Marta Sebestyén. You may hear the hauntingly, mesmerizing old world sound.

the Hungarian community

According to the Hungarians I spoke to, there is not much of a community that gathers on a regular basis these days, however, Csaba taught a men's group this year and one of those men, János, was at the CCI and his wife, Réka, as well as some others, came in for one day. Ágota also taught a group of people as part of her Systems-organizations and People course and two people got accreditation as co-counselors. Years ago, in 1989, Hungary hosted one of the largest CCI's for well over a hundred people which included a children's program. Since then, CCI's have been shrinking in Hungary. What accounts for that? How did it grow in the first place? Why did it not continue? One thought this author has about 1989 is, that was the year that Hungary was liberated from communist domination – so, maybe there's an association between independence and reciprocal peer counseling where the client is in charge, and not in the presence of what could be perceived as a dominating force - the psychiatrist.

sign me up!

The question that pertains to Hungary as well as to the United States is: "Why do our communities shrink?" Going with the theme of Inclusion/Exclusion and looking at the past in order to learn, attracting a younger generation would mean creating a program for their children, also. This author promotes willing and able professionals to initiate a superb children's program; one that parents would support and enlist themselves in, as well. It would look something like this: "Oh, you mean there's an adult component to my kid's program? Sign me up!" Perhaps the now popular theme of 'bullying' and the ever popular themes of world peace, conflict resolution and negotiation techniques could be several points of initiation.

A few inspiring talks with Niek focused on how to capture the essences of co-counseling in order to attract people, thereby building community. He and I did a workshop on How To Grow Co-Counseling. Three men joined us. Niek pointed out that at the very core of human nature AND language is the need to share. Needs drive our very survival. We invented language out of a need to share what was within us. Needs have been with us for 200,000+ years; needs are very acceptable – though admitting to this may be difficult for some. In order to grow co-counseling, we must appeal to needs, and particularly, what needs are most attractive to draw people.

needs

One example is a current well-known need – de-stressing; another is the need to belong to a bigger community. In building a co-counseling community, one chooses trust over fear, acceptance over exclusion, consensus over authoritarianism, and the desire to deliver one's contribution to the world. The need to share is vast, because we are so alone anyhow! Some of the ideas that came from this workshop are: accepting those who live with choicelessness and helping them become aware of their own empowerment, help people get in touch with their enlightened selves, pick people up wherever they stand in their lives, economic fears are becoming critical, holistic and experiential learning, language can be a barrier to deep work, co-counseling can be an oasis, emotional competence can be transformative, assertiveness training & anger management can be segues into co-counseling, etc.

As for inclusion – I felt and heard others say: this was a very warm CCI, as in human warmth - INCLUSION. As for exclusion, by day 2, most folks had excluded from their memory what day of the week it was. This, alas, is typical of all my CCIs – et tu?

Next European CCI will be held in The Netherlands. The Dutch folks did a really fun exercise in the closing circle around the Hungarian word köszönöm, which means thank you, which loosely sounds like kiss me in English. What the Dutch folk did was to create what I am calling a kissing circle around a core group of Hungarian folk, where person-to-person pass on a kiss. This was done to some great Turkish music amidst great peals of laughter via the driving/dancing force of Marjan from The Netherlands. When 'the kiss' completed around the Circle, the members of the Circle then descended upon the Hungarians with kisses and hugs. Demonstrably warm and inclusive!

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